This article popped up “on this day” on my personal Facebook page last night. I don’t tend to reread articles, but for some reason I pulled it up. If there is one article I could stand on the mountain tops and scream ” READ THIS ARTICLE STEP MAMAS”, it would be this one!
READ ME!!!!! ( the below link was not written by me. The link was shared on my Facebook page, from CrazyBuster Facebook page, written by Pam McCoy).
Any other step mama’s out there as relieved to see summer come to end as this step mama?
I am already less than a summer person to start with. Then you throw in the heat, summer visitation drama, actually getting the kids here, and then surviving the wrath of bio mom the entire trip!
All in all it was a great summer. Rolled with the punches. Readjusted when necessary. But this summer really opened my eyes to how much I do and how little acknowledgement and respect came with it. Shouldn’t really be a surprise to most of those tho, right? If you are like me that’s always a hard one to stomach.
During my recent hiatus from every day life ( what a glorious 48 hours my friends!), I really did some deep thinking on schedules. Hey, I said I’m terrible at just taking a break from life but I did actually and it made me think of how much time I could get for myself,for my husband, and even for us if we were more organized and schedule oriented.
A few weeks ago I blogged on how my husband and I started scheduling two nights a week for “us” time and though it sounded completely insane, it truly works for us. And in the time that we’ve been doing it, there’s been a noticeable change in our personalities, our relationship, and even in us individually. So that got me thinking, how can we schedule in more time together and more time for us as individuals?
We all need it. We all want it. Very few of us get it. Enough time without it and you REALLY start to realize it’s worth. This week was a huge eye opener to me in how much I need “ME” time, even when I think I’m on point when it comes to self care.
I have an incredibly stressful job. I work from home so social interaction with co workers ( at least ones I WANT to talk to) is minimal. I was just reassigned to new region and to say my new boss and I didn’t hit it off is beyond an understatement. I’m hourly not salary so the constant need for offsetting bills and legal fees drives me (along with the inability to say no ) to working 60-70 hours a week. The work load also requires it. The pressure and stress feel immeasurable. Since I work from home, my options for promotions and growth is minimal. I could go into my 592 reasons why I’m hanging on to this job and not wanting to give up my salary and profound flexibility but that would be an entire blog in itself.
Sorry everyone for the break. Some technical issues have now been resolved and we are back up and running!
You will notice some slight changes and and revamped a few things … working on a make over of the page to make it more fluent and user friendly.
Patience is always appreciated and feedback is always welcomed. Also adding a new section on infertility ( listed but still under construction)!
Spring is on the horizon and we are going to rock this step mom life!
As 2017 came to a close and 2018 presented a clean slate ….. so much weighing on my mind. Of course, “resolutions” is topic of choice it seems on social media and in several conversations with friends over the past few weeks rolling into the New Year…..
Going into our third calendar year of court, attorneys, and quite honestly chaos – trying to think of the best resolution that I wouldn’t be overwhelming myself with or immediately fail at began to overtake my thoughts.
Life gets busy and the hustle bustle of your obligations quickly gets crazy out of control. Work days get later. Work weeks roll into the weekends. Going out is something that becomes a habit because you’re both too tired to cook ( “you were cooking tonight right?!?!”, as we in sync say to one another). Conversations are short. Complaints are high. Griping about co workers and bosses. Permanent eye roll every time you hear about your husbands co workers and the never ending office drama (a lovely reminder why I am just fine working from home). The simple topics of bills, weekend plans, and the 682 things we both forgot or just plain didn’t do can really break a marriage down over time. Eventually this comes to a crossroad where something has to change because nothing is changing. Zero communication. And no one is feeling heard.
Christmas is a tough holiday for us. My husband has been without his girls in Christmas Day for 7 years now. Of those seven years, he’s had the girls the day after Christmas twice. Thankfully now we have a new court approved parenting plan, 2018 will be our year!
Rolling into our fifth holiday together – I had hoped for a smooth weekend. It was hard not having the girls, but we have next year on the horizon. We celebrated a good portion of ” our Christmas” over the thanksgiving holiday ( began “new” traditions”) but without fail we did have a slight hiccup mid week – making the holiday weekend hard.
I have received many emails lately on when the next blog would be posted. I made my first post several months back, still trying to decide how this blog would go. Would it be actual real life of posting the raw day to day? Would I use our names and make it like many bloggers are doing? What about my husband and his feelings on our personal life being placed out on the internet for everyone to read? What about my step daughters – what if they someday stumble across this blog? How could/could/may they react? Should I just be blogging on topics and situations as they come up? Or should it be reality with exact situations we are currently living through ( and REALLY need to talk out )?
Welcome to TheStrongStrugglingStepMom.
This blog is my personal journal story. My thoughts. MY aspiration. MY frustration. MY accomplishments. MY failures. MY goals. MY outlet. MY phone a friend. MY stories. MY tears. MY smiles. MY laughs. MY victories. MY do-overs. MY end of the day, glass of wine, tell you my thoughts. MY personal path and outlet to help YOU! MY journey — ME.
Three things I struggle with the most as a step mom are: understanding, constant negativity, and finding genuine support. Sure, any of my friends can listen. A shoulder to cry on. To tell me what I need to hear. But how many of us really feel heard, understood, or supported by the friends on their first marriage? The bestie that has never been in a blended family? And if we are going to be honest- how many of our bestest girls have absolutely no idea what they are even saying to us most of the time??? My BFF’s ( yes — all of them!) are amazing gals. Truly, the best friends I could ever have and dearly cherish more than you know. On the hard days tho, I often it can be more discouraging than uplifting.